“There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, how’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?” ” — David Foster Wallace
Around the world, we raise human beings each swimming in our cultural ponds of beliefs, values and habits. They feel so natural we do not even notice them. The clearest way to see our environment is to compare it to others. Researchers over the past years have set out to ask parents from different countries a few questions about how they help their infants’ brains develop.
How do they see their role as parents? What do they believe babies capable of, at a few weeks of age? What aspects of development do they care about the most? What practices do they think most helpful for healthy physical and mental development?
A fascinating 2007 study by Sara Harkness and others tracked five groups of 20–25 middle-class families with two-month old babies in the US, the Netherlands, Spain, Italy and South Korea. The families chosen were homogeneous: all nuclear, native-born, and from a given community — e.g. US suburban families in Connecticut, Italians from the northern city of Padova, Spanish from southern Andalucia, etc — and not representative of the whole country.
The million dollar question is: Are any culture’s practices more conducive than others in the development of healthy humans?
First, let’s look at what the researchers found.
Differences were significant
1) The US mothers were most focused on cognitive and sensory Stimulation:
For context, almost all US mothers studied had returned to work, since Connecticut does not provide paid parental leave (only four US States do.) Families lived far from relatives.
The most important aspect of babies’ development for the Connecticut group was the acquisition of physical and cognitive skills. They described the babies’ day as time spent interacting with various toys and mechanical or electronic sources of stimulation. They saw their parental role as providing an environment rich in toys and equipment. They decided on a schedule and trained babies to abide by it. They did not talk much about their babies’ social environment.
2) The Dutch mothers cared first and foremost about Sleep:
Rest, Regularity and cleanliness (Reinheid) are the three “R” pillars of Dutch infant care.Dutch parents moved infants into various ‘containers’ — cribs, strollers, bouncy chairs — only occasionally holding them for close physical contact and play. “In this “horticultural model” of childcare, parents seemed to see themselves as taking care of the baby by controlling the environment.” For example, to help babies fall asleep they placed them in their crib in a quiet, darkened room when they noticed signs of fatigue, but did not directly help them fall asleep with rocking/ singing
3) The Italians mostly valued Socialization:
The Italian parents considered their roles as providing high levels of physical affection, intimacy, and face-to-face interactions. They took great care at developing their infants’ ability to form significant affective relationships with others. They accommodated their babies’ schedules rather than imposing theirs, expecting babies to learn to regulate themselves eventually. Expressiveness and liveliness (“vivace”) were valued characteristics
4) The Spanish mothers also valued Socialization, and keeping a Schedule:
For context: The parents were surrounded by a comforting network of relatives and friends, visited daily in a multi-hour outing to ‘the street’ (‘la calle’).Like their Padovan peers, the Andalucian parents also had an intimate, proximal and affectionate style of caretaking. The main difference is that they believed that a regular schedule was important for babies. They did not expect that their babies would be able to get to sleep on their own, nor entertain themselves for much time alone. Babies were seen as the newest members of their families and the community. Their environments were described in terms of relationships with people, not mediated by objects: parents never mentioned giving toys or books, only playing and talking with their babies. The daily outing to ‘the street’ was considered an important aspect of physical, social and cognitive stimulation, in interaction with the outside world
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